The more you fight grace, the more you suffer. So, it sounds like you haven’t suffered enough. You can turn the energy into something constructive. It’s good when it’s transformed. We can’t heal our hated parts. We can hate the fact that we’re not perfect. When we take up hatred, we are in the enemy’s camp. What you want healed, you need to be able to cooperate with God for Him to do it. “Lord, help me accept who I am, so You can heal me.” As parents stop hating and rejecting themselves, it’ll be easier to accept their kids.